How to stop overthinking: a perspective straight from my heart

Do you overthink? You are not alone.

Millions of people wake up, and before the day has even started, their mind is already running. Replaying yesterday. Worrying about tomorrow. Trying to control something that hasn't happened yet.

If that is you, this piece was written for you.

The way out of overthinking is not a shortcut. It is a shift in how you see life. And once you see it, you cannot unsee it.

Why can't I stop overthinking?

Here is the honest answer: you are overthinking because you believe that despite all your efforts in a certain direction, your present life is not how you had imagined it in your mind, it could be a conversation, a decision or a relationship.  Then you run it over and over, trying to find the perfect combination of thoughts that will make you feel better in your mind, and eventually lead to a dip.

But here is what nobody tells you: no matter how many thoughts you invest in a certain direction, you have absolutely no control over the outcome.

That is not a depressing thought. It is actually the most freeing one you will ever have.

The ancient wisdom that changes everything

This idea is not new. It has existed for thousands of years — in the Bhagavad Gita, in Stoic philosophy, in Vedic texts, in the words of people who achieved near-impossible things and survived unimaginable losses.

The principle is simple: your effort is yours to give. The outcome belongs to something much larger than you.

The Bhagavad Gita says it directly — Karmanye vadhikaraste, Ma phaleshu kadachana. You have the right to act. You do not have the right to the result of that action.

This is not giving up. It is not weakness. It is wisdom.

Think about it. What are you actually trying to control when you overthink? You are trying to shape an outcome. But if the outcome was never in your hands — if a higher force, the universe, life itself holds that — then what exactly are you worrying about?

The moment you truly accept this, the overthinking loop loses its power. Because there is nothing left to control.

What is the root cause of overthinking?

The root cause of overthinking is the belief that despite your absolute efforts in a direction, the outcome was not what you expected. Once you start this, the loop can continue and gradually lead to an anxious state.

We are not taught to surrender. We are taught to plan, predict, prepare. And those are good things — up to a point. Beyond that point, they become a cage.

The Stoics called it the dichotomy of control — the clear line between what is up to you and what is not. Your thoughts, your actions, your effort: up to you. Everything else: not up to you.

When you live on the right side of that line, your mind quietens. You stop spiralling. You stop running scenarios. You simply do what is yours to do — and then you let go.

Give yourself time to absorb this

If this feels hard to accept, that is okay. It is supposed to.

This is not a switch you flip. It is a slow understanding that settles in over days, maybe weeks. Read about it. 

Sit with it. Let your older self — the one that believed it had to control everything — begin to make room for something quieter.

Be patient with yourself. This shift is one of the most important ones you will ever make.

How do I stop overthinking at night?

Night is when the mind gets loudest. The day is done, the distractions are gone, and suddenly every worry you pushed aside comes back at full volume.

This is what helps.

Before you sleep, write down the one thing you are most worried about. Just one. Then write the one action you can take tomorrow. That is it. You have done your part. The rest is not yours to carry into sleep.

A simple daily routine to stay out of the spiral

Once this perspective starts to feel real to you, two small daily practices will keep you anchored to it.

Every morning — no matter what time you wake up — get some sunlight and set an intention for the day.

Not a goal. An intention. Think about the effort you want to show up with today, the small impact you want to create — personally or professionally. Not the outcome. The effort. This fills the day with quiet direction instead of anxious noise.

Thirty minutes of breath awareness across your day — while eating, walking, or even driving.

You do not need to sit still and meditate. Just bring your attention back to your breath for thirty minutes, spread throughout the day. A few minutes here, a few minutes there. This is enough to return you to the present moment every time your mind begins to spiral.

What life feels like on the other side

When you stop trying to control the outcome and start fully living the effort, something shifts.

You realise that all you have is this moment. Your actions, your presence, your love — they all exist here, right now. When you pour yourself into the now, your future unfolds in ways more beautiful than anything your overthinking mind could have designed.

Surrender the outcome. Live the moment fully. And wait — with patience and a full heart — for a future that would be far greater than you would have expected. 

I promise. That is how powerful life is.

If this feels warm, you do not have to navigate this alone. At FullerSelf, we are here to help you live fully, freely, and happily.

Book a session with us.

— Isha Gulati, FullerSelf

Frequently asked questions about overthinking

Q: Can overthinking be stopped permanently? Overthinking does not stop permanently, but it loses its grip over time. When you stop the loop of overthinking by accepting the present moment with grace and with a belief that what will unfold will be exatly aligned with what is best for you and is far greater than what your mind had imagined, the spiral becomes shorter and the recovery becomes faster. With daily practice, it starts holding a much quieter presence in your life.

Q: Is overthinking a mental illness? Overthinking is not a mental illness in itself — it is a habit, and a very common one. However, it is closely linked to anxiety and depression. If your thoughts are regularly interfering with your sleep, your work, or your relationships, speaking to a mental health professional is a wise and a courageous step.

Q: Does overthinking go away on its own? Overthinking rarely goes away on its own without a shift in perspective or practice. It tends to grow quieter when you actively work with it — through breathwork, surrender, and redirecting your attention to present-moment effort rather than future outcomes.

Q: What is the fastest way to stop overthinking right now? Return to your breath. Even one slow, conscious breath breaks the spiral for a moment. Then ask yourself: what is the one thing I can do right now, in this moment? Focus only on that. Action — however small — is the fastest exit from the loop.

Q: Why does overthinking feel impossible to control? Because you get lost in the desired outcome to an extent that it is impossible for you to imagine a life that could be bigger and better than what your mind had desired. However, simply knowing the fact that outcome is absolutely not in ones control and what is in our control is effort and this moment. Breathwork (focussing on your breath), surrender (absolute faith in what Life is unfolding for you) and one small step towards today is all that is needed for you to come out of this loop. 

Q: Is there a link between overthinking and anxiety? Yes. Overthinking and anxiety are closely connected — both involve the mind moving away from the present into imagined future scenarios. Addressing the root cause, which is the belief that you can control outcomes, creates more lasting relief than trying to manage thoughts one by one.

Related reading: [What does anxiety feel like? The honest answer nobody gives you] · [Why do I feel empty inside — and how to find your way back]